Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world?
He drowned.
He drowned.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Post #195
Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.
Post #193
Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
Post #190
How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Post #184
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Post #183
What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Post #166 - Funny SMS
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Post #164 - Funny SMS
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
Post #162 - Funnys SMS
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
Post #160 - Funny SMS
A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Post #159 - Funny SMS
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
Post #158 - Funny SMS
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
A: We don't know. Never happens.
Post #149 - Funny SMS
How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
Post #147 - Funny SMS
I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
Post #146 - Funny SMS
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
Post #143 - Funny SMS
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
Post #142 - Funny SMS
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
You don't, you've told her twice already!
Post #140 - Funny SMS
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Post #139 - Funny SMS
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Post #136 - Funny SMS
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Post #135 - Funny SMS
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
Magnets have a positive side!
Post #134 - Funny SMS
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Post #132 - Funny SMS
What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
Post #131 - Funny SMS
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
Post #130 - Funny SMS
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Post #128 - Funny SMS
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
Post #127 - Funny SMS
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
How do you breathe through that thing?
Post #126 - Funny SMS
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
Post #125 - Funny SMS
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
Post #124 - Funny SMS
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Post #122 - Funny SMS
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Post #121 - Funny SMS
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Post #119 - Funny SMS
I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
Post #118 - Funny SMS
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Post #117 - Funny SMS
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Post #115 - Funny SMS
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Post # 112 - Funny sms
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
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